From the deepest pit of darkness…
Thought I might go to some pub (or such-like) this evening, to have a glass of something, but… I so don't feel like. As what is bound to be there, all around me?
Bunches upon bunches of 'arsim (uncivilized, disgusting and revolting bipedal apes, mostly of either yemenite, moroccan, russian, or ukrainian origin, who gather in groups – they have no existence as individuals – to drink, curse, smash things, stab one another, smoke and eat bleeding slain corpses), cancer-causing smoke (perfectly illegal at the pubs etc. here in israel – but since when does THAT matter to anybody???), unbearable screams and worse noise (known as the above-mentioned… things' version of arabic pop… "music") and, above ALL of course: dead corpses EVERYWHERE, of poor innocent Animals, murdered to let all those MONSTERS… celebrate.
There is NO Vegan Bar, Café or Pub in rehovoth; ONLY in tel-aviv – and the mere THOUGHT, of going THERE tonight, does almost make me vomit. And anyway, Café on THIS one evening shall be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG for me, in my current loneliness… I go a lot to the Great, Lovely Vegan-Friendly Cafés in rehovoth for Breakfasts / Coffee-with-something etc., but – sitting, TOTALLY ALONE, in a Café, fully surrounded by couples and groups etc…. is THE worst loneliness imaginable.
And NOT like I have got so much money to spend on it, anyway.
And NOT like I am, at able, capable of believing that there could ever BE a reason to celebrate… 2019 shall be HORRIBLE, we all know that one fact fully well.
So, I stay Home.
Nothing more to tell; as ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS in my life. Which, in itself, is reason enough, for me, to just want to finish everything and die.